..Chill Pill..

Sometimes we get soo bussy in life., with our everyday obligations and duties and work., that we never get time to do those things that we really like doing best... 

A few months back., i planned a trip to India, home sweet home.. And the days till before my flight were soo much fun, all i could think about was shopping and the gifts and chocolates i wanted to take for everyone at home and the things i wanted to do and eat and talk about.. And like almost everyday, i went shoppin after work, or would sit and add or cross out things from my long list or pack.. and never realised time pass by.. It goes without saying, had a wonderful holiday.. 

And then ***boom***.., it was all over, the fun, the excitement and i was back to everyday work., work., work., difficult people at work., Bosses., work over the weekends., it was just never ending.. And i went on with the flow of things thinking, hoping it would all be over soon. But the truth is, work is never over atleast when it comes to doing a PhD, there is always new things and experiments to standardize, one thing leads to another.. My weeks were very stressfull and added to all this the cold weather, it wears you out..  Days meld into nights i would get back home and just change and fall on my bed..

Everything seemed so tospy-turvy.. 

Like they say., " what you put up with, you end up with.." And no i do not want to end up this way.. So there has to be changes made.. 

Every now and then we forget to STOP and make time for ourselves, for the things we love doing, the lil things that make us happy, for those we love and those who love us.. 

What we all need is a CHILL PILL once in a while.. I wonder if they really make something like that..
Anywas as we all know, "All Work and no play, makes Tom a dull boy".. 

Sick & Homesick..

The clock goes back by an hour this Sunday (last Sunday of october) and with it starts the freezing chills of winter..  

Having come from a warm and pleasant weather country, I am really looking forward to the snowing..
But Oo god, its just autumn and I am already freezing.. Tonight and tomorrow the temperature is expected to go below to -1 and -2 degrees..  

The worst part was Winter shopping, it is really expensive, and the list of things and the layer of clothes I seem to need just go on and on.., a Winter Coat – I thought I could just layer myself, and get away with the autumn come spring coat I have, but unfortunately not.. so you see its time for a new winter coat now and a long one too, the ones that go down till your keens (they are warmer)..    leggings/tights – yeah, the jeans, they are not good enough, after a few minutes of walking, you may not feel your legs or thighs anymore.. This morning with the weather at just 3 degree (I know am saying ‘just 3’, cause there worst to come), okay so this morning when I stopped at a signal, my legs were soo cold that I felt as if had worn a pair of wet jeans.. duh.. Warm socks – pull it up leaving no room for cold to get in.. cap, scarf and gloves – need to cover every bit of skin possible.. L Sweaters – A few size big sweaters and coat and i can layer everything..  and finally the Boots – have been hearing stories of how you tend to slip and fall thud on your face or bum (both of which are gonna be really painful and bad) and yeah water proof., i have already had a bad experience with the non water proof ones, after a cold and rainy day my foot was cold and almost numb that I had to pour hot water all over them..

A pain aint it, the number of clothes one has to wear to survive the cold.. How i wish we had winter break and i could just stay at home watching my tv shows and stay in bed warm with a cuppa coffee.. **wish-full-thinking**

Anyways, the first few cold days, (the autumn days actually) I just could not stand the cold though well dressed.. The days were also dull and gloomy, and I just wished for a bit of sunshine or to be back home. 

The cold also gave me bad headaches and body pain and made me sick.. I wished to be home with my parents and husband.. Though I have lived all my life in hostels, I have never really known to take care of myself when sick.. every time I was sick or was down with a fever or whatever be it, my parents would come to the hostel and take me home, where I would just sleep or do nothing.. This started cause as a kid I was a weakling.. But nevertheless I loved it, I loved being sick and getting pampered once in a while.. This went on till I was in college and till I was working.. My parents also got soo used to it i guess, I remained weak for them and they could not stand me being sick and by myself., and I also took it for granted that every time I was sick they were there to look after me.. Post Marriage my husband did that too, soo you see basically I am spoilt..

Now hear, thousands of miles away, the first thing I did when I was sick was cry, cause I was sick and home sick at the same time.. stayed sick for 2 days did a lot of cribbing (well I know I stay far away and my cribbing only makes my dear ones helpless and sad ) and then pulled myself together, and started pampering myself like my mom, dad and husband would have done..

And here I am today a little better and fine than yesterday and prepared for the winter ahead if not physically, mentally..

Whenever I crib to my husband, be it about anything, he says ‘you are a Strong woman, you will be fine’ maybe to motivate me., but it helps..

Also I like to believe that 'I am a strong woman and can survive whatever comes my way, even the winter ;-) ..' 

how western are we..

Recently I was at a spiritual function and met many people and as it was a 3 day long fuction I also made some really sweet friends both old and young.. Actually ever since I have come to berlin I guess this is the first time I met people who were really sweet and extra friendly..

Well so sometime during the function  all of us had to stand in a Que for tokens for dharshan, a few more came after me and an old man came too, I let the old man stand in front of me and he gave me 1 big smile and a surprised look and says ‘politeness..!! you are from India..!!’ I smiled back and proudly said ‘yes’..

The function went on till the late hours of night.. Daya a 50 year old lady also a friend of mine was sitting alone, I went sat by her and was talking to her, she said, she was tired and could not wait any longer till her token number approached., I suggested we exchange tokens as mine was soon approaching, she was overwhlemed and took my token and her eyes filled with tears and as she took it from me. After her dharshan she came back to me and hugged and kissed me again..

""Are we too polite and caring and warm or are they not used to this kind of treatment.."" i wondered..

Later again on the same day, another lady who was talking to me asked me what I was doing here in Berlin and if I would ever go back to India.. i said, I will definitely keep visiting, cause my husband and parents live there.. And she was quite surprised, that I was eager to visit my parents she was more suprised when i told her i talk to them everyday..  She said, ‘Parents and children here, have a gap between them.. Children are looked after and loved and cared for and provided for, until they are old enough to leave home and go., and then they are by themselves.. even if you live in the neighboring city or town you never visit your parents ever again.. except maybe once in a year during Christmas or some family gathering or a wedding etc etc..’ (most families)

She also told me., ‘soon we will also become that way, it will all stop, all the love and affection will go away, money would become our priority and that children would drift away from their parents physically and emotionally..’

Earning a living, wanting to live life King size, being ambitious, all these have always been there in India and among us, but that has never changed the way we look up to our parents and the way we bond even after we get old and drift away in kilometers.. and I know it will never change,  not for me..